Dear Hillary Clinton,
Due to a shocking display of every deplorable ISM possible, you are not President.
Given the fact that your Foundation appears riddled with corruption in an attempt to personally harness the government, media and foreign policy of the United States for your personal enrichment we have some ideas about how you can spend your dotage. (You may not have a Foundation for very long.)
If you end up in prison, these ideas probably (mostly) will not work.
10. Become a dog walker in New York. Thus you can canvas for the Democrats and actually talk to normal people and not Democrat operatives pretending to “bump” into you post election.
9. Give Bill a sloppy BJ. Work on that marriage, girl! Bill is just a misunderstood male after all. He loves everyone!
8. Apply to work as a Greeter at Wal Mart. Since you know Arkansas and the Walton’s this should be an easy get.
7. Go to Haiti and give them back their money. Looting countries (allegedly) is not nice.
6. Take an adult education class on the internet. Learn about hackers, cyber security and how to protect your personal information (and national security.)
5. Learn a second language. For you, Chinese or Arabic, the better to solicit donations to your political action committee (I mean “foundation”, sorry).
4. Spend time with your grandchildren.
3. Kick Harry Reid in the balls. He really deserves it. Truly.
2. Apologize to Bernie Sanders for rigging the entire Democrat party, Administration and news media against him.
1. Work as a volunteer bell ringer for the Salvation Army. Your staff thinks you are not normal and don’t relate to regular people. This would help.
0. Work on saying, “I plead the 5th” and hire a brilliant defense attorney.