Category Archives: Humor

The Epic Schlemiel (Self Mocking, Humorous Clown) of $TWTR, @Nymag’s @jessesingal.

WordPress blogger Menachem Feuer has a wonderful blog on Jewish humor, The Home of Schlemiel Theory.

It is my contention that Jesse Singal, fake news (self admitted!) writer for New York Mag is a Schlemiel.

What else could he be?

He admits to having taken part in the production of fake news.  Yet he was an editor at prestigious New York Magazine.

 

As a classical liberal opposed to censorship I think it’s Jack Dorsey that is dumb, but Jesse is ok with “Dumb Twitter.”

He is ok with a revolution, as long as he profits.  This seems somewhat anti revolutionary doesn’t it?

He’s basically Castro’s Lieutenant hoping he doesn’t get shot by firing squad.

 

Jesse, ostensibly a science writer, thought people NOT communicating was a great way to make change.

 

Basically Jesse Singal was instrumental in electing Donald Trump.  I bet he can’t figure out how though.

 

Is Jesse a self mocking Schlemiel?

He’s so awful many people I know voted Trump just because they read his timeline where he admitted to writing fake news.

 

He doesn’t speak the language
He holds no currency
He is a foreign man
He is surrounded by the sound…

He’s surrounded by Jesse Singal, a journalist for a presitigious publication in New York calling him “dumb”.

The only question is if Jesse Singal is self aware, or if he unintentionally a satire of a liberal?

 

 

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We Will Now Produce Only The Best Fake #News Available.

In todays headlines, Hillary Clinton was eaten by an alligator at Disneyland as she trolled for new kids to give to Podesta.  No one was hurt, and the alligator received a Congressional Medal of Honor.  Bill Clinton gave the eulogy stating, “Who is that blonde?”

Ron Paul tweeted a list of fake news sites.  We would ask Jack Dorsey and Zuck to immediately bar these fake news sites from publishing news or updates on Facebook and twitter forevermore.

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In NFL news the Cleveland Browns challenged Alabama to a football game.  Alabama declined, fearing excessive injury risk for the pansy Browns players.  The Akron Pop Warner boys U-12’s stepped up and beat the Browns 35-28 in a hard fought game, with the Ghost of the Galloping Ghost Red Grange leading all rushers with 142 yards and 3 td’s.

In Major League Baseball news Justin Verlander was jobbed by the baseball writers out of his Cy Young.   However he has Kate Upton.  So all in all it seems fair.

In basketball news Michael Jordan came out of retirement, dunked on Kanye West and re-retired.  Kanye West was last seen in an ambulance muttering about Beyonce, Taylor Swift and 3 partially eaten bags of cheetos.   Kim Kardashian immediately divorced him saying, “I didn’t know he couldn’t D up and guard an old man.  I don’t feel safe anymore.”

In Twitter news Jack Dorsey resigned as CEO stating, “I suck.  I cannot believe I did this to twitter, my customers and my country.  I am a very bad person.”

 

Dear @HillaryClinton, Some Ideas To Remain Useful In Your Dotage.

Dear Hillary Clinton,

Due to a shocking display of every deplorable ISM possible, you are not President.

Given the fact that your Foundation appears riddled with corruption in an attempt to personally harness the government, media and foreign policy of the United States for your personal enrichment we have some ideas about how you can spend your dotage.  (You may not have a Foundation for very long.)

If you end up in prison, these ideas probably (mostly) will not work.

10.  Become a dog walker in New York.  Thus you can canvas for the Democrats and actually talk to normal people and not Democrat operatives pretending to “bump” into you post election.

9.  Give Bill a sloppy BJ.  Work on that marriage, girl!  Bill is just a misunderstood male after all.  He loves everyone!

8.  Apply to work as a Greeter at Wal Mart.  Since you know Arkansas and the Walton’s this should be an easy get.

7.  Go to Haiti and give them back their money.  Looting countries (allegedly) is not nice.

6.  Take an adult education class on the internet.  Learn about hackers, cyber security and how to protect your personal information (and national security.)

5.  Learn a second language.  For you, Chinese or Arabic, the better to solicit donations to your political action committee (I mean “foundation”, sorry).

4.  Spend time with your grandchildren.

3.  Kick Harry Reid in the balls.  He really deserves it.  Truly.

2.  Apologize to Bernie Sanders for rigging the entire Democrat party, Administration and news media against him.

1.  Work as a volunteer bell ringer for the Salvation Army.  Your staff thinks you are not normal and don’t relate to regular people.  This would help.

0.  Work on saying, “I plead the 5th” and hire a brilliant defense attorney.

 

 

Jamal Omar: Classic Degenerate in the Finest American Sense

Jamal Omar is a degenerate.  An awful free thinking degenerate.  A virtual hippie.

He should be banned in Boston and not allowed in Peoria.

How bad is Jamal?  Bad.

Here’s the Top 10 list of BAD things Jamal has allegedly done (I made none of them up.  These are all real.  Trust me.)

10.  Litters on American highways.

9.  Invented the Hillary Clinton douche after watching Old Faithful erupt at Yellowstone.

8.  Spray painted MAGA on Abraham Lincoln’s nose in green at Mount Rushmore.

7.  Had an orgy with 73 South Dakota coeds in the snow.

6.  Takes multiple mulligans on the golf course.

5.  Tipped an uber driver with investment advice.

4.  Groped the North Dakota governor on the golf course.

3.  Refuses to wear coats during winter.  Or pants.

2.  Failed to open the door for a woman once.

1.  Supports Donald Trump.

 

Welcome to America, Ex Politician Now Journalist Expatriot Tory Louise Mensch!

We in America welcome immigrants from oppressed lands and certainly the UK fits in as a giant oppressive imperialist force from the past.

Having seen the Light of Liberty and come to New York we are certain you will fit right in with our country!

 

We welcome dreamers from around the world.

Why here in the Central Valley of CA we are a verititable immigrant paradise as we feed the nation.

 

 

 

We welcome you and are glad an ex Tory MP has grasped Freedom!

 

And…. Uh…

Louise we won our independence in a Civil War that we call the Revolutionary War.

You know, you taxed us, we rebelled, we kicked England’s ass out?

Ring any bells?

So freedom isn’t a gift.

 

Right.  Glad that’s cleared up.

Ok, so, uhh…

 

Louise are you sure you want to call our country a moron?

This seems pretty harsh doesn’t it?  God & Country to God and Moron?

I’m unsure why you would call the United States a moron.  Are you SURE you want to be in America, Louise?

 

Approved for entry.

 

 

Edit:  Louise Mensch provides the following update:

 

 

 

‘Scuse me Governess.  Was just rememberin’ that we serve God and Country not God and Mammon, Moron or Turd.

You swear an oath of loyalty to the Constitution and are supposed to disobey illegal orders.

Sadly that didn’t happen, especially in regards to torture, but it shouold happen that way.

#Gamergate Reimagined! Journalist Jesse Singal Tossed OUT By Randi Lee Harper

The “Gamergate” controversy has roiled twitter for coming up on 2 years.

Amazingly enough the most sustainably abusive person in Gamergate is Randi Lee Harper.

She’s managed to become an “anti abuse expert” while telling people to light themselves on fire, fuck off, “get fucked” in endless supply.

I can only imagine it’s because she has inside contacts with Twitter (@safety) and openly boasts about them.

Not only does she boast about them, she brags that she knows what is best for you whether you like it or not, and they can make these suggestions.

Often when I read through various accounts that are linked to Gamergate, however tenuously I cannot believe I am in America.

It’s Orewellian.

And it’s a high school soap opera once you realize that everyone on that page is a public person (at least now) and receives threats from the weirdos that inhabit the internet in endless amounts.

I myself have also received threats.

I funny understand that women perceive threats differently, but still some caution must be taken to make sure the threats are credible threats to yourself.

Quite frankly Randi Lee Harper openly advocates violence, hatred and is the most abusive person I have ever seen on the internet.

I have no idea why @Jack turned her and her mob loose on consumers.

They operate exactly as @Vijaya explained in her Washington Post Editorial, but they remain beyond moderation.

Soap Opera

 

What we have is Journalist Jesse Singal boarding the Revolution!  Sounds fun and why not?

Jesse Singal is a firm believe in “explain nothing” and that by explaining nothing social change is inevitable.

I cannot believe this man is a journalist.

 

As long as Jesse comes out on top, it’s all systems go!

 

And not so much, when enforcers are on the scene.

Jesse has a long history of being tossed out and gamely reboarding the ride.

 

Don’t cross the enforcers, or their friends.

 

 

So after warning Candace Owens not to write about Zoe Quinn and Randi Lee Harper, Jesse went ahead and wrote his hit piece.

No single person is more important that the Revolution!

 

 

And the lynch mob that Randi Lee Harper command set in.  As Jesse knew it would.

The “Lynchmob” (racist reference) of course operates exactly how Vijaya Gadde wrote in her Washington Post Op Ed, but if you are Randi, the Terms of Service seems to be inoperative.

 

This of course STILL offended Katherine Cross.

Gonna have to blame Jesse again, because there’s just not a convenient person about!

 

And thus Jesse ends up being the target du jour.

 

Like so many others.

Whee

Whoa

 

What remains a mystery to me is why Katherine Cross is silent about Randi Lee Harper silencing LGBT on Twitter?

Or why she is silent about Jennifer J. Medina targeting LGBT for Randi to block, intimidate or harass?

If anyone has seen her respond to this publically I’d sure like to see it.

 

PS: I cannot WAIT for what Dick Costolo comes up on his tv show!

 

#Twitter is Down With Glamour Shots. #satire

Twitter is down with glamour shots and so are we!

Wonder what comes up when you google some of your favorite social media personalities?

Google Duleepa “Dups” Wijayawardhana Glamour Shots.  No not money shots!  Glamour shots.

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“Keith Gill Glamour Shots”.

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Chris Sandys glamour shot!

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Gareth Davies glamour shot!

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Nance Larson glamour shot!

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As Seen On…. #Satire #Humor

I have discovered an awesome new online app that is full of hilarious possibilities.

Lots of people are using it, and the “feed” is hilarious as users express themselves to their hearts content.

I was perusing the feed when I noticed this exchange!

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Imagine that.  Click HERE to go have some fun.

Disaster Strikes In Threes! Sandy Sucking The Life Out of Connecticut? #humor

When disaster visits, it often arrives in sets of 3.

The State of Connecticut hit the perverse lottery with Hurricane Sandy, Sandy Hook and Sandy Pants.

Woe upon the people of Connecticut for the ill tides which included a hurricane,  the eternally lame Constitionally maimed and brain drained, and a mass shooting.

If you listen closely you can hear the sucking of life from the greater Northeast into Greenwich where a madman cackles with glee.

It’s kind of like the Ghostbusters like that.

 

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