Category Archives: Humor

Is Conservative Ninny Ed Whalen the Criminal Mastermind Behind Every Crime, Ever?

Ed whelan decided to tweet a half baked (and we don’t mean he took a bit of cocaine mixed with meth) twitter storm where he insinuated a dude who looked like Judge Kavanaugh assaulted Christine Blasey Ford.

So we asked ourselves is Ed Whalen a leading suspect in not only notorious crimes but every crime?

Think about it.

A one man crime wave like Bonnie & Clyde conducted (Feminism leads the way!) with two people would be so unlikely that no one would suspect Whelan is the criminal mastermind behind (and probably conducting) every crime imaginable.

To test this theory we compared Whalan to notorious criminal DB Cooper.

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The resemblance is remarkable.

We think Ed bought some of Alex Jones vitamins, defied aging, and has lived life on the lamb, with those poor passengers money, for quite a long time.  (Ed steals run on sentences!)

Then we checked the audio of the Kennedy motorcade.  We heard President John F. Kennedy whispering to his driver,

“I do believe that is Ed Whalen over there on that grassy gnoll.”

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We checked the grassy gnoll photo. And sure enough. It’s Ed Whalen.  I should point out we tested the grassy gnoll for ballistic evidence and found no residue. We don’t think Ed was the shooter. We think he was the spotter.

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We don’t mean train spotting which is what whacked out Heroine addicts do when they dream up crazy conspiracy theories to tweet.

We then checked the NASA archives.

And there’s Ed.

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Ed has been a one man Ambien Crzy Train of Terror upon the American psyche for decades!

We checked Wal Mart surveillance video and there was Ed robbing the pharmacy of Ambien and Oxicodone for a Hollywood party he invited Charles Manson to.

Ed lowered himself down through the ceiling vents and grabbed that mans crotch as he hurdled the counter and scooped up all the vitamins, anti oxidants and hard drugs he could carry out in 3 10 cent bags.

We reviewed surveillance video and it was heartbreaking. We will not post it here. It’s on Youtube and Twitter.

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We then went to the Tax Assessor and Build Department in Ed’s town and got his home blueprints and dug through his trash for receipts.

We confirmed he has literally paid for NOTHING for decades while living an ostentatious and opulent lifestyle in a palatial home at (REDACTED!  WTF ARE YOU DOING?  DELETE THIS BEFORE PUBLISHING YOU LUNATIC. PEOPLE”S LIVES ARE AT RISK WHEN YOU TWEET THEIR HOME ADDRESSES BECAUSE MOBS TARGET POLITICAL ENEMIES ~ *Ed)

Oh my God!  Was that comment by my Editor? Or Ed?  Ed Whalen that is.

My editor is in hiding now. Spooky.

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Gamergate: Where Are They Now? The Successes, Fails & Silencers of #LGBT

Gamergate pitted 2 sides against the other.  Which was right and which was wrong?

That depends on your politics and tolerance for abuse. Both sides employed/deployed bots, trolls and abuse mobs.

Where are they now?

The Women of Gamergate:

Brianna Wu:

The tech CEO and public speaker, former journalist, ran for Congress on a progressive ticket and had an impressive showing (starting from essentially zero) and is building her base for a 2020 run.

Anita Sarkeesian:

Anita continues her work at Feminist Frequency with a podcast & social advocacy.  She wrote a book and continues her public speaking career.

Zoe Quinn:

The artist/programmer/social advocate is now involved in the comic book industry with DC Comics.  Something tells me the character is based on someone we know.

Randi Lee Harper: 

The allegedly racist troll/doxer/hacker harassment mob leader Republican lives off donations to her patreon and is in hiding after daring people to dox her.

Randi, according to journalist Jesse Singal, has silenced marginalized communities (LGBT) with her blocking and autoblocker bot.

Randi herself knew that is a bad strategy to cut off people from their support networks but did it to LGBT advocates purposefully.

Randi has also been called out for this silencing on Twitter where she remains free to troll others.

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The Pro Gamergate Side. Such as It Is:

Milo Yiannopoulis

After scoring a $13 million dollar startup fund for Dangerous, Milo has been ostracized by polite society for networking with white supremacists and trolls as part of his shtick.

Milo ocassionally whines on Facebook about the injustice of it all.

Ethan Ralph

Proprietor of a muckraking site, The Ralph Retort, Ralph has returned to limited podcasting after being released from prison. He served time for assaulting law enforcement.

Ethan Ralph is a frequent guest on white nationalist podcasts such as Red Ice.

Ethan Ralph’s political editor Lane Davis shot his own father to death (called him a nazi) and is serving time in prison.

Ralph now spends his time tweeting people about being a convicted felon and suggesting they self harm.

http://archive.is/wriZ8

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Mike Ma:  Breitbart Journalist Mike Ma was suspended by twitter for abuse and disappeared into the void never to be heard from again. We think he’s “Admin” on Dangerous but who cares?

His Vines were funny but he was a bully.  C’est la vie.

As to a harassment mob leader leading a “war on harassment.”

Republican Randi Lee Harper’s worrying should have informed her behaviors better.

 

 

 

The Epic Schlemiel (Self Mocking, Humorous Clown) of $TWTR, @Nymag’s @jessesingal.

WordPress blogger Menachem Feuer has a wonderful blog on Jewish humor, The Home of Schlemiel Theory.

It is my contention that Jesse Singal, fake news (self admitted!) writer for New York Mag is a Schlemiel.

What else could he be?

He admits to having taken part in the production of fake news.  Yet he was an editor at prestigious New York Magazine.

 

As a classical liberal opposed to censorship I think it’s Jack Dorsey that is dumb, but Jesse is ok with “Dumb Twitter.”

He is ok with a revolution, as long as he profits.  This seems somewhat anti revolutionary doesn’t it?

He’s basically Castro’s Lieutenant hoping he doesn’t get shot by firing squad.

 

Jesse, ostensibly a science writer, thought people NOT communicating was a great way to make change.

 

Basically Jesse Singal was instrumental in electing Donald Trump.  I bet he can’t figure out how though.

 

Is Jesse a self mocking Schlemiel?

He’s so awful many people I know voted Trump just because they read his timeline where he admitted to writing fake news.

 

He doesn’t speak the language
He holds no currency
He is a foreign man
He is surrounded by the sound…

He’s surrounded by Jesse Singal, a journalist for a presitigious publication in New York calling him “dumb”.

The only question is if Jesse Singal is self aware, or if he unintentionally a satire of a liberal?

 

 

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We Will Now Produce Only The Best Fake #News Available.

In todays headlines, Hillary Clinton was eaten by an alligator at Disneyland as she trolled for new kids to give to Podesta.  No one was hurt, and the alligator received a Congressional Medal of Honor.  Bill Clinton gave the eulogy stating, “Who is that blonde?”

Ron Paul tweeted a list of fake news sites.  We would ask Jack Dorsey and Zuck to immediately bar these fake news sites from publishing news or updates on Facebook and twitter forevermore.

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In NFL news the Cleveland Browns challenged Alabama to a football game.  Alabama declined, fearing excessive injury risk for the pansy Browns players.  The Akron Pop Warner boys U-12’s stepped up and beat the Browns 35-28 in a hard fought game, with the Ghost of the Galloping Ghost Red Grange leading all rushers with 142 yards and 3 td’s.

In Major League Baseball news Justin Verlander was jobbed by the baseball writers out of his Cy Young.   However he has Kate Upton.  So all in all it seems fair.

In basketball news Michael Jordan came out of retirement, dunked on Kanye West and re-retired.  Kanye West was last seen in an ambulance muttering about Beyonce, Taylor Swift and 3 partially eaten bags of cheetos.   Kim Kardashian immediately divorced him saying, “I didn’t know he couldn’t D up and guard an old man.  I don’t feel safe anymore.”

In Twitter news Jack Dorsey resigned as CEO stating, “I suck.  I cannot believe I did this to twitter, my customers and my country.  I am a very bad person.”

 

Dear @HillaryClinton, Some Ideas To Remain Useful In Your Dotage.

Dear Hillary Clinton,

Due to a shocking display of every deplorable ISM possible, you are not President.

Given the fact that your Foundation appears riddled with corruption in an attempt to personally harness the government, media and foreign policy of the United States for your personal enrichment we have some ideas about how you can spend your dotage.  (You may not have a Foundation for very long.)

If you end up in prison, these ideas probably (mostly) will not work.

10.  Become a dog walker in New York.  Thus you can canvas for the Democrats and actually talk to normal people and not Democrat operatives pretending to “bump” into you post election.

9.  Give Bill a sloppy BJ.  Work on that marriage, girl!  Bill is just a misunderstood male after all.  He loves everyone!

8.  Apply to work as a Greeter at Wal Mart.  Since you know Arkansas and the Walton’s this should be an easy get.

7.  Go to Haiti and give them back their money.  Looting countries (allegedly) is not nice.

6.  Take an adult education class on the internet.  Learn about hackers, cyber security and how to protect your personal information (and national security.)

5.  Learn a second language.  For you, Chinese or Arabic, the better to solicit donations to your political action committee (I mean “foundation”, sorry).

4.  Spend time with your grandchildren.

3.  Kick Harry Reid in the balls.  He really deserves it.  Truly.

2.  Apologize to Bernie Sanders for rigging the entire Democrat party, Administration and news media against him.

1.  Work as a volunteer bell ringer for the Salvation Army.  Your staff thinks you are not normal and don’t relate to regular people.  This would help.

0.  Work on saying, “I plead the 5th” and hire a brilliant defense attorney.

 

 

Jamal Omar: Classic Degenerate in the Finest American Sense

Jamal Omar is a degenerate.  An awful free thinking degenerate.  A virtual hippie.

He should be banned in Boston and not allowed in Peoria.

How bad is Jamal?  Bad.

Here’s the Top 10 list of BAD things Jamal has allegedly done (I made none of them up.  These are all real.  Trust me.)

10.  Litters on American highways.

9.  Invented the Hillary Clinton douche after watching Old Faithful erupt at Yellowstone.

8.  Spray painted MAGA on Abraham Lincoln’s nose in green at Mount Rushmore.

7.  Had an orgy with 73 South Dakota coeds in the snow.

6.  Takes multiple mulligans on the golf course.

5.  Tipped an uber driver with investment advice.

4.  Groped the North Dakota governor on the golf course.

3.  Refuses to wear coats during winter.  Or pants.

2.  Failed to open the door for a woman once.

1.  Supports Donald Trump.

 

Welcome to America, Ex Politician Now Journalist Expatriot Tory Louise Mensch!

We in America welcome immigrants from oppressed lands and certainly the UK fits in as a giant oppressive imperialist force from the past.

Having seen the Light of Liberty and come to New York we are certain you will fit right in with our country!

 

We welcome dreamers from around the world.

Why here in the Central Valley of CA we are a verititable immigrant paradise as we feed the nation.

 

 

 

We welcome you and are glad an ex Tory MP has grasped Freedom!

 

And…. Uh…

Louise we won our independence in a Civil War that we call the Revolutionary War.

You know, you taxed us, we rebelled, we kicked England’s ass out?

Ring any bells?

So freedom isn’t a gift.

 

Right.  Glad that’s cleared up.

Ok, so, uhh…

 

Louise are you sure you want to call our country a moron?

This seems pretty harsh doesn’t it?  God & Country to God and Moron?

I’m unsure why you would call the United States a moron.  Are you SURE you want to be in America, Louise?

 

Approved for entry.

 

 

Edit:  Louise Mensch provides the following update:

 

 

 

‘Scuse me Governess.  Was just rememberin’ that we serve God and Country not God and Mammon, Moron or Turd.

You swear an oath of loyalty to the Constitution and are supposed to disobey illegal orders.

Sadly that didn’t happen, especially in regards to torture, but it shouold happen that way.

#Gamergate Reimagined! Journalist Jesse Singal Tossed OUT By Randi Lee Harper

The “Gamergate” controversy has roiled twitter for coming up on 2 years.

Amazingly enough the most sustainably abusive person in Gamergate is Randi Lee Harper.

She’s managed to become an “anti abuse expert” while telling people to light themselves on fire, fuck off, “get fucked” in endless supply.

I can only imagine it’s because she has inside contacts with Twitter (@safety) and openly boasts about them.

Not only does she boast about them, she brags that she knows what is best for you whether you like it or not, and they can make these suggestions.

Often when I read through various accounts that are linked to Gamergate, however tenuously I cannot believe I am in America.

It’s Orewellian.

And it’s a high school soap opera once you realize that everyone on that page is a public person (at least now) and receives threats from the weirdos that inhabit the internet in endless amounts.

I myself have also received threats.

I funny understand that women perceive threats differently, but still some caution must be taken to make sure the threats are credible threats to yourself.

Quite frankly Randi Lee Harper openly advocates violence, hatred and is the most abusive person I have ever seen on the internet.

I have no idea why @Jack turned her and her mob loose on consumers.

They operate exactly as @Vijaya explained in her Washington Post Editorial, but they remain beyond moderation.

Soap Opera

 

What we have is Journalist Jesse Singal boarding the Revolution!  Sounds fun and why not?

Jesse Singal is a firm believe in “explain nothing” and that by explaining nothing social change is inevitable.

I cannot believe this man is a journalist.

 

As long as Jesse comes out on top, it’s all systems go!

 

And not so much, when enforcers are on the scene.

Jesse has a long history of being tossed out and gamely reboarding the ride.

 

Don’t cross the enforcers, or their friends.

 

 

So after warning Candace Owens not to write about Zoe Quinn and Randi Lee Harper, Jesse went ahead and wrote his hit piece.

No single person is more important that the Revolution!

 

 

And the lynch mob that Randi Lee Harper command set in.  As Jesse knew it would.

The “Lynchmob” (racist reference) of course operates exactly how Vijaya Gadde wrote in her Washington Post Op Ed, but if you are Randi, the Terms of Service seems to be inoperative.

 

This of course STILL offended Katherine Cross.

Gonna have to blame Jesse again, because there’s just not a convenient person about!

 

And thus Jesse ends up being the target du jour.

 

Like so many others.

Whee

Whoa

 

What remains a mystery to me is why Katherine Cross is silent about Randi Lee Harper silencing LGBT on Twitter?

Or why she is silent about Jennifer J. Medina targeting LGBT for Randi to block, intimidate or harass?

If anyone has seen her respond to this publically I’d sure like to see it.

 

PS: I cannot WAIT for what Dick Costolo comes up on his tv show!

 

#Twitter is Down With Glamour Shots. #satire

Twitter is down with glamour shots and so are we!

Wonder what comes up when you google some of your favorite social media personalities?

Google Duleepa “Dups” Wijayawardhana Glamour Shots.  No not money shots!  Glamour shots.

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“Keith Gill Glamour Shots”.

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Chris Sandys glamour shot!

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Gareth Davies glamour shot!

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Nance Larson glamour shot!

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