Monthly Archives: December 2015

As Seen On…. #Satire #Humor

I have discovered an awesome new online app that is full of hilarious possibilities.

Lots of people are using it, and the “feed” is hilarious as users express themselves to their hearts content.

I was perusing the feed when I noticed this exchange!

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Imagine that.  Click HERE to go have some fun.

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Disaster Strikes In Threes! Sandy Sucking The Life Out of Connecticut? #humor

When disaster visits, it often arrives in sets of 3.

The State of Connecticut hit the perverse lottery with Hurricane Sandy, Sandy Hook and Sandy Pants.

Woe upon the people of Connecticut for the ill tides which included a hurricane,  the eternally lame Constitionally maimed and brain drained, and a mass shooting.

If you listen closely you can hear the sucking of life from the greater Northeast into Greenwich where a madman cackles with glee.

It’s kind of like the Ghostbusters like that.

 

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How to Achieve #SEO Results Without Doing SEO on #LinkedIn.

Is your Linked.In profile a SEO laden beast that causes people’s eyes to glaze over before they read  your bio?

Does your Linked.In profile drive traffic to garbage pages leaving consumers and potential new business contacts feeling misinformed at best, and deceived at worst?

Do you do more harm than good to yourself creating a SEO laden beast of a bio?

Worry no more!

I shall reveal the secret to SEO and internet traffic that is factual, organic and brings you traffic!

Write good stuff that people want to read that’s truthful, helpful and solves the persons problem.

That will leave them wanting more.

For instance my article is doing quite well and finding the target audience I wish to inform.

According to Linked.In pulse:

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As you can see,  traffic is incoming from google search, my profile and linked.in pulse itself.

And in 6 days, I’ve had 929 unique clicks through my custom shortened link, to boot.

So the best practices recommendation is to write a short, concise bio that informs without overwhelming.

And the traffic will flow in the right direction.

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The #DigitallyProbed Method of Raising Your #Klout Score. Gaming the System. #socialmedia

Towards the low end of the pool, where people buy fiverr tweets and spam lies the type of marketers that cause other people to distrust digital marketing people.

One such person should be well known to readers.

I noticed some questionable occurences that were a bit strange and “gamey” on a persons account.

For example:

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I reached out to Klout support via email who confirmed they are aware that buying tweets or mentioning oneself is possible to game the system but would be cost ineffective.

I agree with that.

But it still happens despite what seems to be an economic loser.

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Twist and Shout With #Klout ~ Thanks @klout and @kloutsupport

I am humbled to be rankied 6 in #satire, 9 in #humor and 3 in Air Force Academy expertise  as measured by @klout.

Thanks to @Klout for their long standing support of this blog as they have disseminated my content for quite a long time.

https://klout.com/#/explore/humor

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https://klout.com/#/explore/satire

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https://klout.com/#/explore/us-air-force-academy

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Addressing Scandalous And Malicious Lies On @Twitter CC: @jack @policy @support @sfdaoffice

It pains me to do  this, however I feel I must.

@Koustave is one of my oldest friends online and is always supportive and is a great person.

Due to sheer volume of the malicious lies by men such as Keith Gill and Chris Sandys, I must address the following lie.

I have no idea where this lie originates from, however the sheer volume of the attack, with seemingly over 100 (I haven’t counted) tweets received compels me to address it.

 

I do not, nor have I ever run any social media account for @koustave.

I have not cyber harassed anyone.

Lies like these are told by malicious individuals seeking to compel silence on truth, a silence they cannot accomplish through traditional legal remedies or good faith discussion of pertinent facts.

People like this have no ethics, morals, business sense, logical argument or ability to apply reason.

They seem to exist for one reason and one reason alone.  To do damage to others by any means neceesary, including through application of “superior force.”

I am voluntarily removing my “mentorship” of Koustave from my bio and Linked.in and any other post or profile.

However me and @koustave remain best buddies.

I suggest you avoid people who act maliciously in bad faith to damage others reputations.

It’s strange that Twitter will moderate the truth, but will allow scandalous lies to be tweeted in incredible volume with absolutely malicious intent.

I will be contemplating what further course of action to take in the new year.

I wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

 

Why didn’t “Support Group” of #Celebrity Nancy Abt Seek Appropriate Medical Care for Her?

Celebrity Nancy Abt, sister of TV Attorney Jay Abt was housebound and needed appropriate medical care.

She had recently come into contact with what she later described as her “support group”.

These people included Keith Gill, AKA @Digitalkeith and Chris Sandys, @usafa_93.

Why didn’t this so called “support group” seek appropriate medical attention for this person who clearly needed help when advised she was housebound?

What kind of “support group” acts so.

Here Nancy Abt tweets her displeasure to the men, but they fail to respond with appropriate compassion, kindness or care.

It seems a clear case of abuse to me.

Cant leave house

Silly Things This Goof Might Have Been Talking About #humor

You see a lot of weird tweets on Twitter.

And sometimes people who aren’t aware of context can be confused, or simply have no idea what’s going on.

With that said, I’m gonna play with the context of this tweet for a bit of a laugh.

It’s from some weirdo in the digital world.

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What might this dillhole be talking about?

  1. When asked about his Truck Convoy across the Iraqi desert to supply ISIS, he responded…
  2. When he heard, “Use the force, Luke,” he responded,
  3. On DDay when the GI’s were landing on Omaha, he responded
  4. At the gates of Moscow,  D”Iron Stalin” Gill responded
  5. When asked why he orders viagra by the gross, he responded…
  6. When he tired of his gay lover, he asked….

 

What Is This #SocialSales Personality and #EmpireKred Leader Trying To Accomplish?

If you want to have a popcorn eating moment, read this dude’s timeline.

Keith Gill, AKA DigitalKeith, Forbes quoted Social Sales guru, corporate marketing manager of Avisolve and EmpireKred leader seems to be making strangely vague and terroristic type threats on Twitter now.

The Instagram moderated cyberbully tweeted the following:

 

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The tweet was deleted, but what is “peace through superior firepower” about?

https://twitter.com/DigitalKeith/status/677982845999013888

 

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What kind of “payload” is he referring to?  And whom is he referring to?

What is he trying to accomplish here?

Does DigitalKeith think he can stifle free speech through some use of a “payload” and “superior firepower?”

 

 

One Link…

Detailing life in the Digital age.

It’s been one week since I clicked a link
Been missing life online
and I need a gravy recipe
Five days since I saw my Buzzfeed
Lost my password and living in infamy
Three days since the facebook feed
I realized it’s all my fault, and set my status
Yesterday you’d forgiven me
And on Google+ we exchanged pleasantries

Hold it now and watch the Twitter feed
As I make you stop, think
You’ll think you’re looking at a silly cat
I summon fish to the dish,
Although I like the Swiss Miss
She’s got the sushi
Cause it’s never retouched by photoshop, man

Hot like wasabe when I’m online
Big like Tom Brady
Because I’m all about balls
Tom Jones’ got the mad hits
You try to match wits
You try to hold me but I make a fool of you

Gonna make a Vine, and be big online
I’d hit like an earthquake
I like vanilla, It’s the finest of the flavors
Gotta see the show,
Cause then you’ll know
The Vertigo is gonna grow
Cause it’s so dangerous,
You’ll have to sign a waiver

How can I help it if I think you’re funny when you’re mad
Trying hard not to smile though your spittin’ mad
I’m the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can’t understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of vacuuming up the dirt

It’s been one week since since I read about Flea
The Red Hot Chili Peppers Love Rollercoaster, baby
Five days since Tumblr feed went crazy
I’ve still got the likes, shares and plusses, baby
It’s been three days since the afternoon
You realized it’s not my fault not a moment too soon
Yesterday you’d forgiven me
And now we’re friends on Facebook, and following, maybe

Chickity China the Chinese chicken
I googled  a drumstick and Thunderstruck is stickin
Watchin Star Wars with no lights on
We’re on a mission
I hope the Rebels win in this one
Like Harrison Ford I’m getting Frantic
Like Trump’s combover, magic
Like David Spade, guaranteed to rock online

Like Kurosawa I make mad films
Okay I don’t make films
But if I did Valerie would wield the tsai’s
Gonna get a new iphone
Gonna find the kind with 5g in the zone
Just so my wifi doesn’t lose connection in the mad scene
Gotta watch some Sailor Moon
Cause that cartoon has got the boom anime babes
That make me write blogs that zing

How can I help it if I think you’re funny when you’re mad
Trying hard not to smile though your spittin’ mad
I’m the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can’t understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of vacuuming up the dirt

It’s been one week since I bought amazon sheets
One day shipping by drone can’t be beat
Five days since I saw a google+ preview
Their beta look doesn’t seem like much new
Three days since the Twitter feed
The GOP Debate was online, what a mad scene
Yesterday you just smiled at me
Cause it’ll still be two days till we youtube a maserati

It’ll still be two days till we get online
It’ll still be two days till we get online
Twitter, yo, home of the robot fake spam armies